Thanksgiving Thoughts

“Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother’s house we go…”

I’ve heard the words to that delightful song almost all my life, and they express a wonderful sentiment, indeed. In fact, I’m pretty sure that every time I’ve listened to them, I’ve visualized being in a horse-drawn sleigh at Thanksgiving. My dad’s piloting it, and we’re gliding over a snow-capped, forested little hill into a delightful valley where one of my grandmas has a traditional English-style cottage, with smoke coming from the chimney as we silently approach.

But, truth to tell, when I was growing up, we never, ever traveled over any river – or through any woods – to either of my grandmas’ homes for any holiday. And they never owned anything that looked like a traditional English-style cottage. In fact, we never celebrated holidays at the grandmas’ homes – we brought them to ours. And Dad didn’t use a sleigh to go get them. He drove our old, decrepit Pontiac over those terribly unsightly railroad tracks that divided downtown Fresno from the southwest part of the city, where the grannies lived.

But life is like that, isn’t it? I mean, we all have our own idyllic images of what our favorite holidays ought to be – or should have been. Those images have been fortified over the decades by songs and motion pictures and TV shows. And, yes, I can fondly remember a few holiday celebrations back when I was a youngster – the ones where Mom would get up oh-so-early and cook all those Thanksgiving and Christmas “monster” meals.

Wonderful memories, indeed – but they were made during celebrations that did not extend much into my teenage years. As I grew up, my parents got old, and the grandmas got even older, and those get-togethers were no more. And as all that happened, my feelings about those holidays changed, and I bet I’m not alone. Ask yourself: Do you feel the same way about Thanksgiving that you did when you were young?

No doubt – our culture has changed significantly over the years, and that’s had a gigantic effect on how we celebrate holidays – or how we don’t. Our own family reflects much of that cultural shift. When we were first married, Sharon and I made a point of trying to “be home” for the holidays. Of course, I had to work on many of those days – after all, TV and radio never take “days off” – but when I was home, that’s where we stayed. We cooked big dinners (at least Sharon did), usually involving turkeys, we ate way too much, and we watched Macy’s Parade on NBC and a football game or two.

But then – about a quarter-century ago – we started doing something “new” on Thanksgiving and New Year’s. We went to movies. At first, we were the only ones inside the theater. But gradually, that changed, and now the seats around us are filled on those holidays. Other people had “evolved,” like we had.

Then one year, we “evolved” even more. We flew overseas a few days before Christmas and spent that joyous holiday in London with our young children. Not many years later, we boarded another plane – this time, on Christmas Day itself – and jetted into Washington, D.C. And voila! The “stay home and celebrate” culture that had dominated our family for decades was gone with the wind.

And as we changed, so did many aspects of American life. Of course, you remember when no stores were open on Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Day. Now, Thanksgiving is nearly wide-open for commerce, with those “big-box”giants making a killing by performing that great “public service” of “allowing” us to shop on a holiday. Funny how that “need to shop” did not exist decades ago. Many stores are now also open on New Year’s Day – but so far, the retail “biggies” have restrained themselves on Christmas. I hope that continues.

“Way back when,” I think Thanksgiving and Christmas brought all of us closer together than they do now – in our individual families, and in our “national” family. But all things change. Heck, I recently read that the last video-rental store in nearby San Luis Obispo – the last one! – has closed.

So, yes, the way we celebrate holidays has changed, as well. But the good news is – we still get to celebrate them, if we want to. However you plan to get to your Thanksgiving commemoration – by sleigh or by old Pontiac – and whatever route you take – over a river, or over that smooth road near you – it might not hurt to remember the words of that legendary comic-strip character Charlie Brown, who once asked: “What if, today, we were grateful for everything?” That, my friends, is a very fine question, indeed.