Splooting, Anyone?
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to think of something to write about in this space. The truth is — I’ve come up dry — until this Friday afternoon.
Oh, I could have regaled you with stories about everything we’ve done around these parts in Central California since we’ve returned from Iowa. But the truth is — other than my getting a heart pacemaker — we haven’t done much. (No, I don’t have heart disease or any blockages. My cardiologist said I had a slow heartbeat — 40 a minute, as opposed to the usual 60 or 70. So he recommended the pacemaker, and since I had nothing better going at the time, I said, “Let’s do it.” He did. And I’m fine, thank you.)
And, yes, I could have written “one of those” blogs, expressing my extreme dislike for everything going on in American politics right now. But I’m pretty sure I could not have composed any great new insights into what’s happening with Trump or with abortion or with all the crazy weather — heat, flooding, drought — you know the litany — that’s battered the nation.
Furthermore, I couldn’t get excited about writing any of it. And if I’m not excited enough to write it, I can’t expect you to be excited enough to read it.
And then I happened upon the solution to my dilemma. It was a piece I saw today on the Washington Post website. The headline read, “What does ‘splooting’ mean? ”
Heck, I didn’t know what it meant — but I wanted to find out. I was hooked. I figured, like with many other pop culture references, I was just “out of it.” And, apparently, that was at least partially the case because the Post said the term has been “swirling around the internet for some time, popular among pet owners delighted at the sight of their dog or cat stretching out their hind legs in an amusing posture.” Turns out that vets and other “animal experts” believe the animals assume the pose to beat the heat. Splooting extends animals’ areas to cool down.
And while I’m not hip enough to have known that — I’m pleased the Post pointed out that the word has yet to be featured in the major dictionaries. So maybe — just maybe — splooting is new for you, too — and you’re welcome.
Since Sharon and I have recently “recovered” Rocky the Cat (yes, this is a portrait of her) — we have an interest now in seeing if she sploots. So far, no dice. Rocky came to us as a rescue 15 years ago. As a newborn, she had been dumped into a trash bin by human animals who could not be bothered to take her and her brothers and sisters to a shelter. They all died — but Rocky survived. Thus, she got a name symbolic of courage and resilience.
We had Rocky for about 10 years. For a variety of reasons, she could not come with us when we moved to our “retirement” home on the Central Coast — so she stayed with our son and his girlfriend in their Fresno condo. Then they moved to Washington, DC, a couple of years ago — and Rocky stayed in the condo when they rented it to a Fresno State teacher. The deal was — a good rental price for him, if he took care of Rocky. It all worked out — until the renter went to Texas for several weeks this summer. By that time, Sharon and I had built, and moved into, our new (and last) “retirement” place in Madera County, near Fresno. So Rocky has come to live with us, again. She seems happy and we’re happy.
While we’re waiting to see if Rocky “sploots” — now that we know what it is and what to look for — I’ve been thinking that maybe splooting is the answer we’ve all been seeking to calm us down while the nation and the world turn into garbage. I mean, visualize it — you’ve been watching your favorite blowtorch, left-wing or right-wing cable newscast (something I thought you’d have given up by now) — and you’ve been whipped into a white-hot, frothing frenzy. Unless you really get a kick out of feeling that way, you likely want to calm down. Well, what if you just dropped to the floor — on your stomach — spread your legs behind you and your arms in front of you — and stayed there, relaxing and visualizing your favorite lake or campground or park?
Yes, yes. I can see it now. Instant relief from the cares of the world! Well, I can tell you this — even if Rocky doesn’t sploot, I almost certainly will. In fact, I’m thinking about going and splooting right now. It has to be better than continuing to read about or watch how the country’s going, doesn’t it?